OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i've created a new STD.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
