I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
