You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
