Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.