i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
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Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
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life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in