Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.