You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
