then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
