i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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