She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
