It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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