just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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