Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize