how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize