I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
