I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
