Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
