I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize