You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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