he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
