Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
