2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
