He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
