After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
