Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
