Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
