i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
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