And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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