when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize