I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
