Yo dont text me then not text me
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
