sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
