used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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