dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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