well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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