You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
