I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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