My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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