it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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