Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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