I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
