Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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