I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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