If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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