Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you traded sex for a burrito?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
How's work?
Spinning.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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