dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I had to cum in my sink.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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