I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
