THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
