she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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