Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
