going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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