I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize