Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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