Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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