Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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