I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
God I need to hump something, right now.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
