i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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