Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
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Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
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Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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