her vagine was all disorganized.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
