i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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