This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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