she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
