Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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