And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
True strength comes from lack of pants
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
