:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
