yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
