My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
