Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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