Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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