If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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