I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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