hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
