so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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