I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
