when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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